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On telling people I’m a writer

 

When I tell people that I’m a writer, they typically respond with at least one of the following questions:

Would I know anything you’ve written? 

Where do you get your ideas from?

I never know how to answer these questions.

(That doesn’t stop me from trying– I’m a compulsive talker).

Try as I might, people do not seem gratified by my responses.

I used to think that had something to do with me. Surely I must be giving shite answers, that must be why a look of disappointment creeps over their faces, right?

Wrong.

(I think)

(Can you tell that I’m the sort of person who constantly questions herself?)

(Can you tell that I’m the kind of person who loves parenthetical remarks?)

More and more, I think they are disappointed because they haven’t asked their real questions.

6872281806_31b7b1c6b2

Here’s what I imagine is going on:

Would I know anything you’ve written?

actually means

Are you rich and famous?  

and

Where do you get your ideas from?

actually means

You have had thoughts that would never have occurred to me. How can this be?

There are answers, certainly. I’m neither rich nor famous.  I get my ideas from the same place everyone gets their ideas. My ideas are not the same as yours because we are different people, with different minds and experiences.

I’m not sure there are any answers to these questions that people would find satisfying. How would you answer them?

 

 

The Mysterious Ouija Board, Part Three

Last time, I wrote about how urban legends about the Ouija board surged in the 1970s and early 1980s due to the influence of the film The Exorcist on popular culture.

So what’s up with Ouija right now?

In 2014, filmmaker Stiles White directed and co-wrote a low-budget horror movie called Ouija. The film cost a mere five million dollars to make, but earned over nineteen million in its first weekend alone in North American markets. While panned by critics, the film’s financial success peaked the interest of various deep-pocket movie studios.

spirit board by hasbro
Hasbro is the current owner of the Ouija board. It’s marketed as a mystical experience for all ages.

It wasn’t just Hollywood who was interested in investing in more Ouija films, either. Toy manufacturer Hasbro–the same company that produces and sells the licensed Ouija boards– reportedly put up a significant amount of funding for the prequel to Ouija, a film called Ouija: Origin of Evil, released in 2016.

Ouija_two_xxlg.jpeg
This 2016 prequel is entertaining. If you watch just one contemporary Oiuja movie, I recommend this one.

Since the success of Ouija (2014), twenty films with Ouija board themes have been released or announced.

These films have some relationship* to the increasing the number and variations of urban legends around the board, such as the three used in Ouija (2014) and  Ouija: Origin of Evil:

  • Never Play Alone
  • Never Play In A Graveyard
  • Always Say Goodbye

modern ouija

There are many more legends in circulation:

  • The true spirit board is not Ouija boards, but “Witch Boards”, so named such because witches once used them to summon demons. Witch boards have been used for centuries **
  • Placing a silver coin on the board prior to play will block any evil spirits from contacting you. One in each corner is the best way.
  • Don’t take everything a spirit says at face value. Spirits like to mess with humans because they are bored, lonely, or evil.
  • If you use the board for financial gain or to pry into personal matters, the board will be more attractive to evil spirits
  • Never use the board when you are angry, that will attract angry spirits, maybe even poltergeists
  • Don’t use the board when you have poor mental or physical health- you’re more vulnerable to demonic possession
  • Don’t use the board when you are under the influence of substances- you’re more vulnerable to demonic possession
  • ZoZo (or ZoSo) printed on the board is the name of the demon that likes to trick users. ZoZo may haunt people during and after a Ouija session.
  • If the planchette moves to the four corners of the board an evil spirit has been contacted.
  • If the planchette moves across the number printed on the board declining from nine on down to one, the spirit is counting down as the exit the board.
  • Ouija Boards that are not properly disposed of will return to haunt the owner.
  • If you Burn the Ouija Board it will scream
  • To properly dispose of the Ouija Board break it into seven pieces, pour holy water on it, and bury it.

I was amused to find a website that made this claim:

 Do not use the board if you are under 18, unless supervised by an adult. Remember, the Ouija is not a toy and connecting with spirit is not a game.

‘Not a game’ but owned by Hasbro? Sheesh.

Want to know why Ouija boards appear to work? Read this

Want to see Penn & Teller debunk Ouija boards? Watch this


* Exactly what the relationship is can be left up to the social scientists. Leave me out of it, but remind to set up a Google alert so than when that literature is robust I remember to go have a look it.

** As you know from reading the other posts on Ouija, this assertion is not remotely true (which is hardly surprising).

The Mysterious Ouija Board, Part Two

In my last post, I wrote about how homemade “spirit boards” or “talking boards” used by mediums in the nineteenth century Spiritualism movement had evolved into mass-produced board games marketed as wholesome family fun.

In this post, I’m going to unpack Ouija’s second transformation. How did Ouija boards evolve from  pleasant parlour past-time to perilous portal to perdition?

ouija 5

The answer? The film The Exorcist (1973)

exorcist

The movie is based on William Peter Blatty’s 1971 novel The Exorcist. The book was a bestseller at the time of its original release. Since then, the novel has enjoyed a signed limited-edition “luxury” re-release in 2010, and a 40th anniversary re-edit and re-release in 2011 that included new scenes written by Blatty.

However enduring the appeal of the novel, it was the film of  The Exorcist (scripted by Blatty himself) that gave the by-now-forgotten Ouija board game a new lease on its (after)life. Unlike the book, the film contains a scene in which Regan shows her mother how she’s been playing with a Ouija board.  

Let’s pause here for a moment. It’s worth pointing out that the film The Exorcist is the ninth top-grossing film of all time (adjusted for inflation). Don’t rub your eyes, you read that right, here’s the list :

  1. Gone with the Wind
  2. Star Wars
  3. The Sound of Music
  4. ET
  5. Titantic
  6. The Ten Commandments
  7. Jaws
  8. Dr. Zhivago
  9.  The Exorcist

It’s also the top grossing R-rated film of all time (adjusted for inflation).  So suffice it to say nearly everyone who wanted to see the film back then, saw the film. Re-releases, rep theaters, videotapes, DVDs, and streaming services have continued to popularize the film.

Based on this, it’s not a stretch to suggest that the film spawned a thousand urban legends. That includes some of the ones that I heard as a girl in the 1970’s, such as “never play Ouija alone” and “Demons will enter your soul if you play with Ouija boards.”

Next time, I’ll post about the contemporary resurgence of Ouija boards and associated urban legends.  Until then,  G O O D L U C K.

 

 

The Mysterious Ouija Board, Part One

When I was a kid in the 1970’s, I lived in British Columbia’s Bible belt. Maybe not the buckle of the Bible belt (I’m looking at you, Abbotsford, BC) but at least buckle-adjacent.

That combination of time and place meant that Ouija boards (also known as spirit boards or talking boards) were widely considered a Satanic instrument that could open the door to demonic possession and poltergeist activity.  Even now, decades later, I have a beloved friend who insists that these boards are a doorway to ancient supernatural evil.

Given that this year is the 125th anniversary of the Ouija board, a recitation of facts is in order (sources are at the end of this post).

During the nineteenth century, the Spiritualism movement enjoyed public interest and popularity (more on that in a future post). In 1886, national newspapers started carrying stories about “talking boards” or “spirit boards” that mediums were using in their seances so that the spirits of the dead might tell all.  These homemade boards and planchettes were more-or-less similar to that of the modern Ouija board.

homemade board
A homemade wooden spirit board

In the 1890s, Charles Kennard, of the Kennard Novelty Company, produced a commercial version for family entertainment. There are a number of legends about the commercial origins of the board, among them that Kennard and his pals asked the board itself what it should be called. Apparently the planchette spelled out O U I J A and then G O O D   L U C K.

classic board
The patented and trademarked Ouija board

Kennard patented the Ouija board (that’s another blog post also). It was a commercial success. It was so popular and so accepted that Norman Rockwell painted a picture of a couple using the board. It was a cover for the Saturday Evening Post.  It don’t get more mainstreamed and uncontroversial that that, amirite?

rockwell ouija
Cover Image from the May 1 1920 edition of The Saturday Evening Post

So how did the Ouija board transform from a mainstream parlour game to a scary hell-mouth portal?

All will be revealed next week, in part two. In the meantime, G O O D  L U C K.

planchette

SOURCES

The Strange and Mysterious History of the Ouija Board“, Smithsonian Magazine Online.

“Ouija Does It”, Saturday Evening Post Online.

Surrey Muse Reading this Friday Oct 27

muse poster

I’m the book signing author at Surrey Muse this coming Friday

Here are the details . . .

Surrey Muse meets (5:30 – 8:30 pm) every Fourth Friday of each month except December.

Presenters
Three presenters (Author, Poet, Artist/Performer) use 20 minutes each. Each presentation is followed by 10 minutes of discussion/questions. A host cannot reduce/change time allocation. An online profile is posted at Surrey Muse web page for each presenter before the meeting. A Data Projector can be made available if needed. A microphone is not allowed. Photographs may be taken and/or videos may be made for our blog and Facebook pages. A permanent link will be added to Surrey Muse Sidebar in ‘Featured’ links for each presenter (please send yours if it’s not there). An event report (hopefully) will also be published. At this time, there is no honorarium for presenters.

CD/DVD/Book Signing
Another author/performer who has launched a book or a cd/dvd in the previous three months is invited to be available for Signing. The author/performer is introduced by the host to read for 7-10 minutes at the beginning of the meeting, and they will have a table to display/sign/sell any or all of their titles. This is an optional item of our program.

Refreshments
There can be two 10-minute breaks or one 15-minute break. A host can reduce the duration/number of breaks to make up for lost time.

Open Mic
35-40 minutes of Open Mic with 7 minutes for the Opener, and 5 minutes for each participant. A host can take no more than 5-7 minutes to make up for lost time. Begins with the Opener. Book Table provides the sign-up sheet. Open Mic presenters may be mentioned in event reports, may appear in photographs and videos, and may be on our People page. Bring your poems, short fiction, creative prose, art, songs.

Book Table
All Presenters, Hosts and Participants can place their books, CDs, DVDs and art for sale at the Book Table without any cost.

Events are free
Donations are welcome and much needed.

Venue
#405 – City Centre Library
10350 University Drive
Surrey, BC V3T 4B8
(604) 598-7420

Huzzah!

 

the muse

We’re in the last few days before the book launch, and truth be told I’m vibrating with excitement.

It’s also true that some unavoidable family stuff has come up,  so at least some of my attention and energy is directed that way too.

I am looking forward to a long long sleep on Sunday Oct 22.

 

Things That Will Mess Up Your Writing Process, Part Two

depression
Charcoal drawing by Chloe Cocking

Another thing that can mess up your writing process– if you let it– is squidgy boundaries. Many writers I know (myself included) are people-pleasing folk who have a hard time saying “No,” as in . . .

  • “No, I don’t want to go dog-walking with you, this is my writing time.”
  • “No, I don’t want to go out shopping with you on Sunday, because Sunday is one of of my writings days, I need that time to be organized for the upcoming week.”
  • “No, I don’t want to watch Netflix at the moment, I am writing.”
  • “No, I can’t sit on this or that committee for this or that arts organization, or volunteer to stuff envelopes or update your database, or, or, or, or or . . .”

If remarks like this came easy to me, I think I would have finished Blood Rain faster.

I have developed a script that I use to turn down the invitations I find most tempting– feel free to use or adapt it if it is useful to you:

“I’m sorry, I am in recovery from being a Woman-Who-Does-Too-Much. Asking me for ____________ is like a kind of crack for me, so I must decline your invitation. Thank you for understanding”. 

Things that will mess up your writing process, Part One

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Photo created by Aaron Burden, used under a CC licence.

My high school creative writing teacher gave the class a lecture one time about the two types of writing processes, “classical” and “romantic”.

He advised that writers with a classical process are highly structured, create detailed outlines, and develop their plots and characters fully before they start drafting.

He opined further that writers with a romantic process, write (only) when the spirit moves them. They often draft scenes outside of chronological order. Their characters and plots develop organically, sometimes in directions the writer did not anticipate.

This bit of advice was then (and is now) horseshit.

Every writer I know uses some combination of classical and romantic elements.**

What’s more, having that dichotomy in mind messed up my process. I felt like I was doing it “wrong”, which contributed to long periods of not writing.

From my perspective, any writer’s process can be like a frozen soap bubble- something lovely to look at, but also something that can be easily destroyed by a probing finger or overheated breathing.

**More on this in a future post