dogs resolutions
Not much to do with my proposed resolutions, but worth considering nevertheless

New Year’s resolutions– f@#k ’em.  I’m not losing weight, paying down my debt, or getting organized. Honestly, I’m out of bed, I’m wearing pants, and I’m not drunk (yet). What more do they want from me!? Gah!

Even though I’m not interested in any of ‘classic’ resolutions, I do enjoy the feeling I get when I can cross something  off of a list. Therefore, what follows is a list of three things that seem like reasonable accomplishments for a person. Perhaps you will take them on as formal resolutions. I won’t be, but that doesn’t mean you can’t.

1. Finish off a chapstick

This is a bigger deal than it may seem. You actually have to be mindful of it (so you don’t lose it or accidentally wash it with the laundry). You also have to practise some self-control and not purchase a new chapstick whenever you see a new flavour  or brand you haven’t tried before. My lack of self-control in this area has resulted in me owning about fifty partially finished chapsticks in a variety of flavours and textures. (Note to self– no one actually needs vanilla-mint chapstick with glitter in it. No one.)

2. No condiment packets!

Use (or in some other way get rid of) the little condiment packets (soy sauce, plum sauce) that tend to collect the fridge. This goes for all the horrible splintery chopsticks that seem to breed in the silverware drawer.

3. Make your bed every day.

I read somewhere that the key to happiness is creating a small zone of neat-tidy-serene in your world so that there is at least one place you can go that is neat-tidy-serene. For me that’s my bedroom. I’ve stacked the deck in my favour by having almost nothing in my bedroom (it has a bed and two side tables). That means other than vacuuming and dusting, all I have to do to keep out the chaos every day is make my damn bed. Even I can manage that.

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